you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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