You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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