who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
