planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
