the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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