you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You can't just leave with hair like that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize