My brain says no but my pants say off.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
