I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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