The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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