we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
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I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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