It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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