Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
