i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
