Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
false alarm, still single
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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