I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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