So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
