Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
