New low: just hacked my moms facebook
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
