i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
