It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
