____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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