Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
