she was so not down for the gang bang
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
