yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
