ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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