Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want a musical about memes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
