I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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