its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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