I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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