I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
