I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize