Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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