I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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