He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
