Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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