how can u be prego again
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
