Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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