i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
