Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
