From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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