Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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