its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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