I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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