Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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