another moral hangover. fuck.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
