I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
