I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
