Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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