This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
