what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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