im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
