yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize