So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
