All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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