she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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